Research shows that, for some, height does matter in a relationship.
Scientifically known as sexual dimorphism, height preferences in partners is more common amongst females. Psychology Today1 reveals from a study that 13.5% of men prefer to only date women who are shorter than them, whereas 48.9% of women prefer to date only men who are taller than them.
Why do women care so much about height in a relationship compared to men?
Studies show that on average shorter men are less educated, less healthy and have a lower income than taller men. Taller men are also perceived to be more masculine, responsible and able to protect a woman and a family. So it’s no wonder that women are looking for a taller man when it comes to dating.
But do these traits even matter? A relationship isn’t just about education, status and wealth, it’s about happiness, compatibility and friendship.
As a society, we have been brought up to believe in dating stereotypes – to think that taller men should date shorter women. But we shouldn’t care about what other people think, nor let social norms dictate who we should love.
Would you break up with the perfect partner just because they are shorter or taller than you?
Business insider2 suggests not. Research shows that even though some women say that they have a preference on their male partner’s height, actual height differences between couples do not follow such a stringent criteria.
The evolution of how we meet our dates may have impacted on our search for a partner of preferred height. Different dating apps have unique ways to attract potential matches, but height is always a factor that makes up a dating profile. Numerous dating platforms have created more choice, so people can be more fussy when it comes to who to message and who to date.
At the end of the day we have limited time to date everyone we see on dating apps and so the only way forward is to screen them based on their profiles against your own personal preferences. And if that doesn’t work out, then there are plenty more fish in the sea – plenty more opportunities to find your perfect partner.
So when it comes to your dating profile, it’s completely normal to make yourself as attractive as possible (no catfishing), so as to help you find a date. At least if you have the chance to go on a first date, you will have the opportunity to win over your date in person and find the one.
The problem with online dating is that you can’t always know a person just by their profile or the online conversation you have. So height is more likely to matter online but in person height is less of an issue.
Can height difference affect a relationship?
Height has made a great difference to my relationship with my partner in a positive way. With us being the same height, I realise even more the value of his personality and our compatibility.
As someone who has grown up always being the tallest and biggest amongst family and friends, I’ve always been a bit insecure about my height. I think that’s why I became attracted to taller guys and actively seeked taller guys when dating. To me back then, a tall man came across as dependable and able to look after me, someone who would make me feel more petite and delicate, more like a woman.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve dated shorter men in the past, but when it came to dating apps, I’d always look for potential matches that are at least as tall as me. So I understood when Paco lied about his height on his profile. If he hadn’t lied, would I have gone on a date with him? That we will never know.
Being in a relationship with my partner of the same height has changed my attitude towards the importance of height in a relationship. It’s made me realise that the value of a relationship isn’t in the physicality of being tall or short, but in how your other half makes you feel. My partner makes me feel like a delicate flower. He understands how I feel about my height and build and makes me feel petite, even though we are the same size. Most importantly, I feel loved and well treated.
Benefits of dating someone of equal height
Dating someone of equal height has its own range of unique benefits:
- No need to strain your necks when kissing
- Intimate same level eye contact
- Comfortable hand holding
- Better posture
- Can share clothes
- Perfect hugs
My advice to anyone looking to date or currently dating out there is to push aside dating stereotypes. Don’t rule out dating shorter men as you are limiting your chances to find happiness. We all come in different shapes and sizes and love is the same.
Height matters if you think it matters. But it shouldn’t matter. Happiness is what matters.
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- 1 Psychology Today (24th September, 2019): 5 Reasons Why Women and Men Care About Height
- 2 Business Insider (16th April, 2019): Height Difference in Couples