Being single can have a real impact on your mental health. It’s not easy to be single, especially when everyone around you is all coupled up.
You might even feel pressured to find someone when you’re not even ready.
According to mentalhealth.org, research has shown that outcomes are significantly worse for those in negative or unhappy relationships compared to people who have no relationships or are isolated.
It’s not whether or not you’re in a committed relationship, but it’s the quality of your close relationships that matters. Living in conflict or within a toxic relationship is more damaging than being alone.
This is important to bear in mind when you’re single. You may think any relationship is good for you, or that having a partner to show off to friends and family will solve your problems. But the real question you need to ask yourself is, are you happy?
Relationships Aren’t Just About Romance
Movies or other popular culture may have had an impact on your thoughts about what a relationship might be like.
- That romantic moment when you lock eyes with your first crush.
- That romantic candlelight dinner that is prepared for you under the stars.
- That heroic moment when your dream match saves you from a crisis.
But don’t be fooled. A relationship is more than just romance. There’s good companionship, sharing and love. But there’s also the extras that come as part of the package in a relationship – caring about your other half, getting along with the in-laws and knowing how to compromise.
Being Mentally Ready For A Relationship Trumps Anything Else
Relationships are amazing but you will also come across obstacles in your dating life, so being mentally prepared is important if you are looking for a long lasting relationship. Emotions will run wild so it’s key to know yourself before you start getting to know someone else so intimately.
Know what you want in a relationship and set your boundaries, so that you are in a relationship for yourself and not for anyone else. Don’t settle for second best and do what is right for you when it is right for you.
If you’ve ever wondered why you might be single, then check out “Why am I still single?” or’ “Are you ready for a serious relationship?”. Both blog posts deep dive into the fundamentals of being single and includes a quick quiz to find out why.
Otherwise here are 4 top tips and advice for those singletons out there. Don’t let being single impact your mental health!
- Don’t Compare Yourself To Others
It can be good to have some motivation to take the next step but at the end of the day, you’ll start dating when you’re ready. Think about what you want rather than what society dictates what you want. Everyone’s path is different.
Someone might want to make a family at 22. Others might want to travel the world even at 37. It’s also about whether you are emotionally ready for a relationship, where people develop at different times of their lives.
I didn’t start dating until I was 25, which is late in life according to “the norm”, but I was happily single and loving life. It didn’t even occur to me to go find a partner. So find “your norm” rather than be dictated by other people’s norms.
2. Work On Yourself, Care About Your Mental Health
Take your time being single for self care and pursue your passions whatever that may be.
Find the time where you can work on yourself, be it following your work ambitions, travelling around the world or working on that blog that you’ve always wanted to start.
This is the time to grow your confidence and be happy in yourself.
If you’re confident in yourself, then you’ll likely become more attractive to others. So you never know what might happen after that.
3. Create Opportunities But Don’t Force Anything
You’ve probably been told to “put yourself out there” so that you can increase the chances of finding “the one”. Whilst it is important to try different dating apps, go out to meet new people, maybe go on a blind date or two, the relationship for you is likely to happen and blossom when you least expect it.
Before dating Paco, I was at the point where, like many, I was sick and tired of dating. So I decided that Paco was going to be the last person I dated before going on a dating hiatus. Little did I know that he’s the one I’ve been dating ever since that day. As cheesy as it sounds, love does sometimes come when you’re not looking for it.
As explained in the intro to this blog post, being on your own is likely to be better than being in a toxic relationship, so don’t get into a relationship if it doesn’t feel right. Don’t fall into a relationship just because of the fear of being alone. It will happen when the time is right.
4. Enjoy Being Single!
Once you’re in a relationship, you can’t just choose what you want to do, so take the time when single to enjoy your independence.
Don’t think about being single as being lonely. Think of the positives of singledom, rather than a relationship.
- You have the freedom to be a bit selfish and do what you want to do.
- You can put yourself first and have time to follow your passions.
- You can understand yourself more and learn to be happy in your own company.
Remember, It’s All About You
When you are ready.
When you are happy in your own skin.
When you decide to open your heart.