You’re on a first date and you already know in your mind whether you’d like to meet up for a second.
You’re on the second date, but you’re still unsure as to whether they like you or not.
You’ve been on a month of dates, but you’re unsure of where the relationship is headed.
But is it possible to know for sure whether your date is interested in you?
When looking back on how well a date went, we tend to over analyse, think about every possible detail and what the signals meant. Uncertainty as to whether your date likes you can last for days, weeks or even months.
Research by psychologists Elliot Aronson and Phillip Worchel shows that if someone likes us, then we are more likely to like them, also known as reciprocal liking.
“We like people who like us”from HighBrow (2016): The Psychology Of Attraction And Likability
So if you are interested in someone, even on a first date, show them you like them and they might be more likely to show signs of liking you.
There is a difference though between flirting and friendliness, so bear this in mind throughout reading this blog post. A flirty date for example would have more intense eye contact, lean towards you more, ask more personal questions and tease you, A LOT.
14 signs that someone likes you?
Here are 14 signs of attraction to help you understand a date’s psychological signals.
1. Eye contact – If you’re regularly making eye contact throughout your date (sometimes intimately, sometimes shyly), then that’s a good sign that they might be into you. If your date’s eyes are looking elsewhere for most of the date, then they might be more interested in other people or the surroundings than you. Of course, some people are introverted and may look elsewhere naturally.
2. Casual touching – Your date casually brushes your hand with theirs as you walk down the street. Your date touches your back to protect you from others in a crowded bar. These are just a couple ways in which your date is trying to make the time you spend together more intimate and a strong indication of flirting over friendliness. Of course, nothing creepy!
3. Mirroring body language – If your date is interested, they will start to mimic your body language. Change your body language throughout your date and see if they start to mirror you or not.
4. Leaning in towards you – People tend to lean towards people that they like and physically distance themselves between people that they dislike, according to Psychology Today1. Does your date always make the effort to face their body towards you?
5. Compliments – Even though they don’t tell you directly they are into you, they want you to know that they are interested by complimenting you, be it about your fashion, eyes etc.
6. Remembering weird/small things about you – Someone who is into you will remember the small details that you’ve likely forgotten that you’ve told them. Maybe it’s your favourite ice cream that you mentioned, or the name of your pet hamster when you were younger. They will take great care into everything you say.
7. Asking personal questions – Your date wants to know more about you so they ask you about your past, your present and more importantly your future! If they start asking about plans for the future, about children or marriage (maybe not on a first date!) then it might be that they are interested in a future together with you.
8. They are present – When all attention is on you and they are genuinely involved in the date, then more often than not they care about what you think, want to know more about you and make the date memorable.
9. They show a quirky side – They start to show a side to them that they haven’t shown in previous dates. At first, you may find them strange, but this is their way of showing you that they are comfortable around you and they want to take the next step with you – showing you their weird and wonderful side!
10. Reveal personal info – If your date is revealing more about themselves and are expressing vulnerability, then there is a good chance they are interested in you.
11. Flow of conversation – Even if you’re not the most extroverted person, you and your date make the effort to make conversation, to find out more about the other person and try to make the other feel at ease.
12. They are nervous around you – It can sometimes take some time before they open up as they are nervous being around you, which can be quite endearing.
13. They make time for you – If someone is always too busy for you and doesn’t prioritise you then that is a red flag. Someone who is interested will text you or call you, meet up with you and make time to spend dedicated to you.
14. Genuine smiles 🙂 – They are always excited to see you and smile in a way that is different to spending time with a friend. Perhaps they are smiling with their eyes, also known as the Duchenne Smile according to Health Line2. First impressions are important so a simple smile is key. Also, when you think about your date, you smile. That’s when you know you’ve made it.
These signs can give you an idea of whether someone likes you, but the best way to know for sure is to pluck up the courage and ask them.
If you’re interested, why wait any longer? Tell them you like them and you might be pleasantly surprised what comes back.
Have you ever been brave and told someone you like them? If you’d like to share your story we’d love to hear it!
- 1 HighBrow (27th June, 2016): The Psychology Of Attraction And Likability
- 2 Psychology Today (28th June, 2016): 5 Nonverbal Clues That Someone Is Interested in You
- 3 Healthline (29th June, 2019): Smiling with Your Eyes
- Image: Photo by Charlie Foster on Unsplash