It’s natural for there to be times in your life where you find yourself in a long distance relationship.
Perhaps your partner has moved elsewhere to pursue a career or to study. Perhaps you met abroad and are still infatuated by each other but cannot meet so often.
For myself and Paco, the lockdown as a result of the Covid pandemic meant that we’ve had to maintain a long distance relationship.
Whatever the reason and however far the distance, it’s not an easy time to go through. So I’m hoping that this post will be able to help many of you make light of your situation and continue to see your relationship grow.
4 reasons why long distance relationships are so hard?
- TRUST: There needs to be a level of trust in your partner. It’s more difficult to know what your partner is up to when you’re not together all the time.
- LONELINESS: You see other people around you with their loved ones and you’re bound to miss them more. Especially so when there are special events at Christmas or Valentines day.
- THE SMALL THINGS: When you have something to say, you want to tell them straight away but you can’t. You have to text them.
- PHYSICAL CONTACT: You miss holding them, miss their cuddles. If this is your love language this will be even more difficult to cope with.
In general, long distance relationships are hard because you just miss your partner more.
Do long distance relationships work?
There is a myth that long distance relationships don’t always work because of how hard it can be.
But the New York Post1 has shared in a study that in fact 58% of long distance relationships are a success.
The first few months of a long-distance relationship may be an optimistic time, but the study pinpointed the four-month mark as being the hardest part of the relationship.
If your long-distance relationship can survive the eight-month milestone, it gets a lot easier.
Do long distance relationships last?
According to the same study, 55% said that time apart from their partner made them feel closer in the long run, with 69% talking to their partner more when long distance.
So a long distance relationship can work out even better if you’re looking for a long lasting future. Even though it might take more effort and commitment!
6 tips to keep your long distance relationship alive
- Make communicating more fun.
Don’t just stick to the usual texting. Send each other selfies/ videos to make you feel like you’re with them. Or send each other cute gifs. And don’t forget to greet each other every morning and every night, it’s the small things that make a big difference when you’re apart.
- Find an activity to do together to connect.
Anything that you’d usually do together in person, do it over a video call instead. Or try something new altogether. Maybe have breakfast/ dinner together over video call. Exercise together. Go for a walk together. Or watch a film at the same time. Spending quality time together can bring you closer together. Paco and I have launched No Thrills Dating together which has deepened our relationship.
- Schedule in time to speak with each other. Just you both.
Time to connect and talk through your thoughts, feelings, or talk about random things.
The key thing is to spend time connecting and communicating with each other. With no distractions.
- Send each other surprise gifts or handwritten letters in the post.
These gifts don’t have to break the bank. It could be a postcard, handwritten letter, freebies that you find online. When these come through the post they are a wonderful pick me up and show your other half that you are thinking about them. Paco has sent me gifts and snacks throughout lockdown and it has made me appreciate the little things.
One of the gifts he surprised me with was this Seoul Box which contains a range of snacks to suit the season. Also included a bonus face mask and stickers 🙂 Just a small sample of what was unboxed below.
- Support, trust and be honest with each other. About your future, how you feel.
It isn’t an easy time so support is really important. Be open and honest with each other and trust one another. If you can trust and support each other at a distance, this will speak volumes for when you are physically back together again.
- Plan your next trip together.
Find something to look forward to and maintain that positivity. It could be a plan for when you see them next or maybe plan for your next holiday? Being hopeful about the future will help you be happy in the present.
All the above activities can help bring you closer together and create memories even when physically apart.
Are you currently in a long distance relationship? If you’ve tried out any of the above or have some more tips then do reach out, we’d love to hear your ideas.
- 1 NY Post (31st October, 2018) : Long-distance relationships are more successful than you think
- Featured image: Photo by Lê Tân on Unsplash